Ain't Saint Nicholas
Ain't Saint Nicholas is the forteenth episode of the second season of Crash Bandicoot: N-Ventures!, though it was the tenth produced. It is the second Christmas-themed episode. In it, Cortex travels to the Ice Ages, where he kidnaps Mama Claus in an attempt to prevent Santa from being born. Plot Summary It's Christmastime on Cortex Island, and once again, Dr. Neo Cortex has had it with all the holiday cheer. He holds a meeting in his castle to discuss the issue. Cortex explains his disdain for the joyous occassion, and Uka Uka is inclined to agree. Doctors Nefarious Tropy, N. Gin, and Nitrus Brio all agree. Something has to be done about Christmas! Tropy then smiles, and talks about his most favourite invention ever - the Time Twister! When he reveals it to Cortex and Uka Uka, they gasp. The doctors all enter the machine, and wind up in the North Pole in 1932. Santa Claus is seen watching Wumpavision and drinking some Wumpa Nog. Mrs. Claus (voiced by Tara Charendoff) sees the doctors spying on them through their frosty window, and comes out throwing bombs (wrapped up with cute bows) at them. Tropy realizes this is too late for Santa, and goes back to the present. Uka Uka is angry to see them again already. Tropy just shrugs, and warps them back even further... to the Ice Ages! Now, we see Mama Claus (voiced by special guest star Dave Coulier) and Papa Claus (also voiced by special guest star Dave Coulier) in the window. They look happy. Brio decides it's time to drink a beaker. This one turns him into a vaccuum. Mama Claus is captured! Papa Claus manages to escape! Papa Claus gets on his bananaphone and decides to call help from "The Future". Cortex makes use of an ice castle to call his own. Meanwhile, in the present, Coco is seen using Aku Aku as a bananaphone. They recieved message from Papa Claus that Cortex and his minions have kidnapped Mama Claus! Coco drags Crash away from an episode of Full Wumpa Fruit. Coco types in a few lines of code in her laptop. Crash insults her for doing nothing but stop him from watching his sitcoms, but when they decide to leave the house, they find that they have been warped to the Ice Ages. Crash complains about being too cold, so Coco fashions Aku Aku's feathers into a fine jacket for Crash, much to Aku Aku's chagrin. Crash is happy, though he is still saddened by being dragged away from Wumpavision. Coco has no idea what to do here. Right on cue, Chill Bill and Not Hot Larry arrive on the scene. Aku Aku interrogates them. They accidentally spill every piece of information to the good guys. Upon realizing this, the duo runs away. Crash decides it's time to look for the so-called Ice Castle Cortex. But Coco reminds him that they should probably meet up with Papa Claus first. So, they do just that. Papa Claus is distraught. He's disappointed that he'll never have the magical son he's always wanted. Aku Aku tries to cheer him up. "We'll save your beloved!", he claims. Papa Claus tries hard to believe him. Crash gets impatient, so he asks to see if Papa Claus will come with them, or else they might as well just go home. Papa Claus reluctantly agrees. Now it's time to find Ice Castle Cortex! They reach it, but there is one little problem. Nipper Roo is guarding it! He complains about how cold it is, and tries so hard to keep warm, but there are laws against TNT in this time period. All Nipper Roo can use is Explosive Ice Boxes. Aku Aku has an idea. He wants to use them against Roo. Crash has a better idea. He grabs Aku Aku, and clubs Roo with him until he's knocked out. They enter the ice castle, and who's sitting in the dining room? It's Tiny Tig-Brrrr! Tiny is seen trying to eat soup with his hands, wondering why it's slipping through. He notices the heroes, but is confused as to why they are there. Apparently, Tiny has no idea what's going on. Tiny decides to defend the castle anyway, since that's what Dr. Neo Coldtex would want. Crash throws Aku Aku at Tiny, who immediately developes splinters. Tiny screams, which causes an avalanche, blocking off the exit. It also wakes up Doctors Nitrus Freezbrio and Dr. N. Freezgin. They come downstairs. N. Freezgin shows off his newest invention, the "Watch As Christmas Disappears From The Future Of The World, Crashie, Papa, Bird Mask, and That Smart Eight-Year-Old Girl". All it is is a calendar. Freezbrio drinks a potion, and turns into an abominable snowman. Coco thinks fast, and takes out her laptop, and then its battery. She throws it at Freezbrio, who melts immediately. Papa Claus looks confused by the contraption, but Crash changes the subject by commenting on how useless N. Freezgin is. This angers the doc, who shows off a less embarrassingly stupid invention, the "Oh, Heck, Oh, Heck, Gotta Warn Coldtex". Freezgin takes out a button, and an alarm goes off. Freezgin then runs away. Aku Aku is starting to get annoyed. He uses his Fire Feather (still attached to the jacket Crashie is wearing), and begins to melt the entire castle. This also frees Mama Claus, who runs to her hubby. Coldtex, Freezgin, and Frostropy all arise from the remains. Coldtex is not pleased! Frostropy takes out his tuning fork, and opens a time portal. Dingodile comes flying out, dressed in futuristic attire. He seems annoyed, since he was working on another evil task! He takes out a laser and tries to shoot the heroes. Crash gets really annoyed, because he wants to go home. Aku Aku understands that there is no time to wait anymore! He uses his ice breath to freeze Coldtex, Dingodile, and Freezgin. Frostropy panics, and warps his allies back to the present. Mama Claus also thanks the heroes, before they magically beam away. In the present, Uka Uka is seen berating Cortex once again for another failure. Cortex just sighs. The next day, it's apparently Christmas Eve. Santa Claus (voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson) arrives at Crash's doorstep to personally thank the heroes for ensuring he was born. He goes on to reiterate that no one should ever forget the true meaning of Christmas.